he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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