Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
