im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
