that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
