we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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