I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
