now i know why i became what i already was.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
