my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
oh god the rape fog is back!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
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