At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
