you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
