I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
