You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
