I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
