oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
These tits shall not be calmed
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize