Me too!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
