K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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