i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
