If i come over, it means nothing
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
