So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The uberlube is also flammable
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
