it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
