just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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