He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
