i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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