You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
