we have officially lost it.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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