just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
