Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
