I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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