You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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