yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
