you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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