I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
