I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
