So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
