just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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