She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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