I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
