they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Randomize
