remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
