You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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