I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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