Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
