I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
birth control should be required to get into college
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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