I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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