Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize