$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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