This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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