it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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