she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
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