There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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