I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Randomize
