well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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