Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
