Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
why is half of my head shaved?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
