About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
