I didn't shave. On purpose
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
