You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
