I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Randomize
