Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
