there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
