just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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