so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize