Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
