You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize