My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
