I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
