Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize