never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
