This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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