Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
