dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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