Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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