Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I touched a dick in church today
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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