Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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