Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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