I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
