Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm getting married
To pizza
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
